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I believe dinner should taste like it skipped a boring meeting and went straight to a concert—loud, unapologetic, and a little messy. Also, bowls are life right now (is that a pandemic thing, or do I just like not doing dishes?). This is my very loud, slightly clumsy take on a Bang Bang Chicken Bowl and yes, it’s beginner-friendly because I have ruined a lot so you don’t have to. If you want something similar but tropical, I actually wrote about teriyaki chicken and pineapple bowls that I adore and also ate in about five minutes. Try that if you want sweet and loud instead of spicy and loud.

My Very Public Kitchen Meltdown

I once turned what should have been a bang bang bowl into a greasy sadness parade. The smell was wrong—kind of like regret and burnt garlic, with a whisper of "why did you add all the mayo?" The texture was rubber-band chicken meets sad potato chip. There was sizzling (too much sizzling), then flopping, and a sound like a tiny trombone announcing defeat. I remember standing there in my pajamas, kitchen towel over my shoulder (dramatic), hearing the smoke alarm like an unwanted referee. Embarrassing? Yes. Did I post a photo anyway? Also yes—comms with the internet are therapy. I tried to fix it with more sauce, which only made it soggy. Spoiler: sometimes cooking is a series of very loud apologies.

Why This Actually Works Now (Mostly)

I stopped trying to do everything at once, shockingly. Two realizations: control the heat, and stop treating mayonnaise like it’s evil (it’s not). Also, small emotional growth—less panic, more tasting. The Bang Bang Chicken Bowl works now because the chicken is actually cooked right (golden, slightly crisp edges) and the sauce is balanced—sweet chili meets mayo, with sriracha that says "hello" and not "arson." I still doubt myself mid-bite. Will this be the best bowl you’ve ever had? Maybe. Will it comfort you when your day was nonsense? Definitely. Also, learning to shred cabbage properly changed my life in tiny, crunchy ways.

What You Need (But Also Not That Much)

For the Chicken:
1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts or thighs, cut into bite-sized pieces
1 tbsp olive oil
½ tsp salt
¼ tsp black pepper
For the Bang Bang Sauce:
½ cup mayonnaise
3 tbsp sweet chili sauce
1–2 tsp sriracha (adjust to taste)
1 tsp honey (optional)
1 clove garlic, minced
For the Bowl:
2 cups cooked white or brown rice
1 cup shredded carrots
1 cup cucumber, thinly sliced
1 cup red cabbage, shredded
2 green onions, sliced
Sesame seeds (optional, for garnish)
Fresh cilantro (optional, for garnish)

budget, texture, availability—do what you can with what you have (substitute mayo for Greek yogurt if you’re pretending to be healthy, I see you).

Cooking Unit Converter

If you’re a numbers person who needs grams or cups converted because the world refuses to standardize, there’s a gadget for that right here.

How To Not Ruin It (Again)

Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat.
Season chicken with salt and pepper, then cook until golden and fully cooked, about 6–8 minutes.
In a small bowl, whisk together mayonnaise, sweet chili sauce, sriracha, honey, and garlic to make the Bang Bang sauce.
Drizzle half of the sauce over the cooked chicken and toss to coat.
Assemble bowls with rice as the base. Top with chicken, carrots, cucumber, red cabbage, and green onions.
Drizzle remaining Bang Bang sauce over the top.
Garnish with sesame seeds and cilantro, if desired. Serve immediately.

Oh right—don’t crowd the pan (I know, I crowd pans emotionally too). If the sauce seems thick, thin with a splash of water. Taste as you go (I say that like it’s revolutionary but it’s just being alive). If you want a crispy nugget, broil for a minute, but watch it like a hawk because char is a skinny line between charred and chef-y.

Let’s Talk About Life, Also This Bowl

Are you someone who eats rice out of a pan with chopsticks because forks are for people who plan in advance? Same. Do you feed your kids a deconstructed version and call it a "buffalo-inspired" night? Guilty. And if you love spicy-sweet mashups, maybe also peek at those buffalo chicken biscuit bites I experimented with—because variety is the spice of limited-time pantry items. What will you add to yours? Extra cilantro? A squeeze of lime? A slightly theatrical apology to the smoke alarm? Tell me everything, like I’m your weird aunt who will insist you eat more.

Questions You Would Definitely Ask

Can I use thighs instead of breasts? +

Yes. Thighs are juicier and more forgiving if you get distracted, but breasts are lean and fast. Both are fine and both deserve love.

How spicy is this? +

Adjust the sriracha. Start small, taste, then decide if you want more drama. The sweet chili sauce keeps it friendly.

Can I make the sauce ahead? +

Totally. It keeps in the fridge for a few days, though it firms up a bit. Stir before using. Also, making sauce ahead makes you look like you plan things, which is fun.

Is mayo weird in an Asian-inspired sauce? +

Not at all. Mayo is the textural glue here—it brings creaminess and helps the chili flavor sing without being mean. Embrace the mayo.

What else can I put in the bowl? +

Edamame, avocado, pickled onions, leftover roasted veggies—this bowl is a canvas for whatever your fridge is whispering at you.

You know when a recipe feels like an emotional support item? This bowl is that. It’s loud, forgiving, slightly dangerous if you oversauce, and also very comforting. I wrote it because I kept burning things in dramatic fashion, and because there’s something cozy about dipping a spoon into rice and sauce and thinking maybe—just maybe—this is the meal that will make tonight manageable. And then I remembered I left a pan on low and…