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I believe the best snacks are morally ambivalent. Also: spicy things fix everything (except taxes and exes, obviously). I’ve been yelling about cauliflower like it’s my second child since 2016 and yes, I will dunk this in ranch and call it dinner. If you want a very different kind of comfort food, I once turned my morning into chaos with my favorite corned beef hash and somehow lived to tell the tale.

How I Totally Burned It (Then Blamed the Cauliflower)

Once I tried to “health” this into oblivion and ended up with something that smelled like regret and a yoga studio. The batter slid off the florets like tiny, sad umbrellas and the air fryer made a sound—like tiny cymbals—every time I opened it. Embarrassing? Yes. Did I text a photo to my neighbor at 11pm? Also yes. There was a moment when the kitchen smelled halfway between burnt toast and stadium nachos and I considered just ordering pizza (again). I learned what soggy cauliflower sounds like. It’s not pretty. It squeaks. Don’t ask.

Why this finally behaves (mostly)

I stopped trying to reinvent a wing. I learned the Air Fryer Buffalo Cauliflower Recipe wants two things: a respectful batter and a quick, aggressive blast of heat. Also butter. Honestly, emotionally I had to accept that not every recipe will make me a cooler person. Practically, the batter needed thickness, the florets needed uniform size, and the hot sauce-to-butter ratio needed to be equal parts comforting and vindictive. I changed my expectations (tiny) and my technique (big). Confidence? Present. Lingering doubt? Also present, forever, like a well-placed jalapeño.

What’s actually in this chaos

1 large cauliflower, chopped into equal-sized florets
1 cup all-purpose flour (use gluten-free if needed)
1 cup milk (such as soy milk)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 cup hot sauce (e.g., Frank’s Buffalo hot sauce)
1/4 cup butter, melted

Budget? Totally doable. Texture wants crispness but will tolerate soggy feelings. If Frank’s is sold out at your store (RIP), any vinegary hot sauce will do. Also, if you’re making brunch and feel extra domestic, consult that fluffy pancake muffin recipe I have; it calms the chaos in weird ways.

Cooking Unit Converter

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Step-ish directions (do not overthink)

In a mixing bowl, combine flour, milk, salt, and pepper. Whisk until smooth.
Toss cauliflower florets in batter until evenly coated (do not drown them; we want cling, not a bath).
Air fry at 200°C/400°F for 13-15 minutes until crispy and golden.
While cauliflower cooks, mix hot sauce and melted butter until smooth.
When cauliflower is done, toss immediately in the sauce so the heat helps glue the buffalo flavor on.
Serve warm. Maybe with celery? Maybe with blue cheese? Maybe with tears of joy.

Also: do not overcrowd the basket. Flip halfway if you remember. If you like extra crisp, give them two minutes more and then celebrate like you just got a promotion. I will argue with anyone about the virtue of reheating in the air fryer (I win).

Tell me your kitchen sins

Do you also have a drawer that’s the Bermuda Triangle for measuring spoons? Who else pretends the air fryer is a tiny oven to feel fancy? Are you dunking buffalo cauliflower into sour cream? Ranch? Your ex’s leftover texts? (Probably just me.) If you’re making these with toast (yes, do it), try my honey wheat bread recipe for a sweet balance—don’t @ me, it’s delicious. Tell me your tweaks. Tell me your disasters. I will commiserate and probably share a GIF.

Stuff you’ll ask after eating these

Can I make these gluten-free? +

Yes. Swap the all-purpose flour for a 1:1 gluten-free flour blend. Texture changes slightly (a touch grainier) but the air fryer and the sauce are forgiving. I promise it will still make you proud.

How spicy are they? +

Depends on your hot sauce bravery. Using Frank’s gives a classic wing heat — not nuclear, just insistent. Double the sauce if you’re sad and need to feel alive; halve if you’re feeding kids or people who think jalapeños are “too spicy.”

Can I make these ahead? +

You can, but they are best fresh. If you must (I judge softly), keep sauce separate and reheat in the air fryer at 180°C/350°F for 3–5 minutes, then toss. They’ll regain some crisp. Not identical to just-made, but close enough to avoid regret.

Is this actually healthy? +

Depends on your definition. Cauliflower is a vegetable, yes. Buffalo sauce plus butter is a mood. Balance? Maybe add a salad (or two) and call it an emotional win.

What if my batter is too thin or too thick? +

Too thin: flour more. Too thick: splash of milk. It’s forgiving. You can fix almost everything with a spoon and a little stubbornness.

I get sentimental about stupid foods sometimes. Like, deeply — maybe it’s the buttery heat, maybe it’s the memory of making something for people who laughed at my jokes (rare), maybe it’s that the first time I did this right I cried over a skillet (don’t tell anyone). Also, if you ever need an emergency snack at midnight, this recipe will not judge you. It will, however, demand ranch. And now I have to feed a child who isn’t my child but feels like one because he stole my fries and—

Daily Calorie Needs Calculator

Use this to eyeball how many of these you can eat before your conscience files a formal complaint.