Cottage Cheese Tuna Salad
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I believe lunch should be louder than your group chat, and if tuna is involved, it should also be comforting (and slightly rebellious). Also — full disclosure — I once tried to make an elegant tuna spread the week I hosted a brunch and then served crackers like a coward; obviously that was a mood swing and not a food crime, and yes I have a party-starter cheese ball recipe that did nothing to help my dignity.
How I Ruined This (Repeatedly, with Sound Effects)
Once, I made something that was supposed to be a simple Cottage Cheese Tuna Salad and it smelled like a dock-side deli at 2 a.m. (not that I would know what that smells like but I imagined). The texture? Lumpy, like someone had tried to glue together tiny clouds with glue that tasted faintly of mayonnaise regret. There was a horrifying crunch — not from celery — but from an unopened jar of pickles I’d somehow stabbed with a fork mid-rant. Embarrassing details: my dog judged me, my neighbor knocked to ask if everything was okay (it was not), and my phone autocorrected “tuna” to “tune-a” which is its own brand of insult.
I kept thinking: add more lemon, add more mustard, omit the mustard, call it a dip. Then I would double-down and add hot sauce like a duelist. Nothing married. The first time I blended cottage cheese I was too timid and left curds like little islands. The second time I blitzed it into a dairy smoothie and then stared at it as if it could explain my life choices. What’s the point of a story without a sound effect? Bloop. There you go.
Why This Version Finally Works (And Why I’m Still Nervous)
It works because I learned to be both ruthless and forgiving. Practically: drain the tuna well (I mean really — squeeze like you mean it), use a measured scoop of cottage cheese, and mince the celery so small you stop noticing it. Emotionally: stop trying to impress my brunch bisexual friend who can roast a cucumber into something transcendent. Also, I stopped pretending that tuna salad needs to be dainty.
This Cottage Cheese Tuna Salad now balances creaminess and snap: the cottage cheese smooths things without pretending to be mayonnaise, the pickles add a civilized pop, and the Dijon does the curmudgeonly work. I still doubt things — like whether to add one more chive — but that’s where the hot sauce lives, for emergencies.
Ingredients
- 3 5 oz. cans white albacore tuna (drained well)
- 1/3–1/2 cup cottage cheese (start with 1/3 cup if you prefer a drier tuna salad)
- 1 stalk celery (minced)
- 3 tbsp red onion (minced)
- 2–3 tbsp dill pickles or sweet pickles (minced)
- 1 tbsp dijon mustard
- 1 tsp lemon juice (more to taste)
- 1 garlic clove (finely minced or microplaned)
- 2 tbsp fresh chives, parsley or dill
- 1/4 tsp salt (more to taste)
- 1/2 tsp black pepper (more to taste)
- hot sauce (optional, to taste)
Budget, texture, availability: this is a thrifty salad that behaves like a celebrity (fancy-ish, but accessible). If you can’t find albacore, a chunkier light tuna is fine. If you love tang, be brave with the pickles.
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How to Make It Without Overthinking (But Also, I Will Overthink)
- Using a blender or immersion blender in a small container, blend cottage cheese until smooth and creamy. You can also leave the cottage cheese with curds if you want to.
- In a medium bowl, combine tuna, cottage cheese, celery, red onion, pickles, dijon mustard, lemon juice, garlic, herbs, salt and pepper. Add hot sauce to taste if desired.
- Serve as a sandwich, with crackers, in a lettuce wrap, or however you typically enjoy your tuna salad!
Non-linear explanation: sometimes I mash the tuna with a fork, sometimes I flake it gently (there’s no rulebook, only mood), and if you prefer VIGOROUS MIXING that’s valid too. TIP: if it seems watery, a brief chill tightens everything up — science or witchcraft? I’m not sure.
Household Chaos / Reader Dialogue
Do you ever make a meal and then realize you’re crying about different things? Me too. Who are we feeding — ourselves or the Instagram algorithm? Also, has anyone else had a child (or spouse, or plant) steal the best bite? Tell me the method you use when you have five minutes and a can of tuna: toast, wrap, or straight out of the bowl like a civilized raccoon?
If you want a dessert for the crowd I half-resent but mostly adore, there’s also a lovely easy mini cheesecakes recipe that pairs with this kind of salty, nostalgic lunch in an embarrassingly satisfying way. And while we’re being unhelpful, remember that sometimes spicy = healing.
About 3–4 days if stored in an airtight container and if you didn’t despair and leave it out overnight. Taste it before serving; if it smells like a choose-your-own-adventure, toss it.
Yes, you can, but it’ll be a different mood. Cottage cheese makes it lighter and gives protein points; mayo is cozy and indulgent. Choose your personality.
Not necessary, but I like it for texture and flavor. Light tuna works fine — you’ll just notice a different salt and fat profile. Do it based on budget or ideological reasons (I have both).
Yes, but assemble sandwiches right before eating if you don’t like soggy bread. For pre-made bowls, chilling helps flavors marry and the texture firms up.
Use capers, a squeeze more lemon, or a bit more onion. You want acidity and a little crunch or pop. If you have none of those, hot sauce and a pitying stare will do. 🙂
I keep thinking about how food is memory and also logistics. There’s something comforting about opening cans and turning them into a tiny ritual — it’s half survival, half decadence, and entirely mine. Also, I should probably stop talking to the salad like it’s going to answer back because it won’t, but sometimes I swear it does and maybe that’s normal, or maybe I need more sleep, or maybe
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Cottage Cheese Tuna Salad
Ingredients
Main Ingredients
- 3 cans 5 oz. cans white albacore tuna (drained well) Use albacore tuna for the best flavor and texture.
- 1/3–1/2 cup cottage cheese Adjust to preference; start with less for a drier salad.
- 1 stalk celery (minced) Mince finely to blend flavor.
- 3 tbsp red onion (minced) Adds flavor and color.
- 2–3 tbsp dill pickles or sweet pickles (minced) For acidity and crunch.
- 1 tbsp dijon mustard For tanginess.
- 1 tsp lemon juice Adjust to taste.
- 1 clove garlic (finely minced or microplaned) Adds depth of flavor.
- 2 tbsp fresh chives, parsley or dill For garnish and flavor.
- 1/4 tsp salt Adjust to taste.
- 1/2 tsp black pepper Adjust to taste.
- to taste hot sauce (optional) Add for extra kick.
Instructions
Preparation
- Using a blender or immersion blender in a small container, blend cottage cheese until smooth and creamy. You can also leave the cottage cheese with curds if you prefer.
- In a medium bowl, combine tuna, cottage cheese, celery, red onion, pickles, dijon mustard, lemon juice, garlic, herbs, salt, and pepper. Add hot sauce to taste if desired.
Serving
- Serve as a sandwich, with crackers, in a lettuce wrap, or however you typically enjoy your tuna salad.
